Thanks, Jane!

This is a very useful perspective. I completely agree that one of my favorite benefits of travel is the ability to disengage from my own cultural conditioning. So it stands to reason that spending more time abroad would help to gain a better perspective. It sounds like the key is developing strong relationships at home to ensure they stay intact when/if we travel for some time.

I was really excited to live abroad for a year when I set out – new climbing to explore, the vast scenery of the US but I definitely struggled with the lack of community in the US. Climbing was a lifeline but the lack of easy access to climbing was a challenge (I was used to 10 minute drives rather than 3-6 hour ones). A year would have been an adventure, I would have happily gone back then. It’s taken years to build up a community in the US and a lot of that community has been through kids – that’s a big connector in the US. The fact that you have to drive to the crags and that the weather is good means there is less close ties between climbers here – less hanging out in the rain or round eachothers houses looking for weather windows.

If you have a strong community, a year is nothing. Absolutely nothing. When I first revisited Sheffield after 2 years people asked if I’d been injured or started going to a different pub. I returned to North Wales after 23 years and just slotted right back in. So decent friends are there for you after a year.

That said if you moved to the Front Range to build community and that’s working, it might be the time to consolidate on that.

But a year out in a different culture? Such an experience – climbers are a friendly bunch and pretty welcoming. And while you are there you get to disengage from your own cultural conditioning and look at it with fresh eyes. That’s been the biggest gift for me. And you get the chance at being able to call two places your home in the future (which might come in useful one day).

Thank you for this!

A few thoughts come to mind:

Someone in their twenties is hungry for exploration and growth. Those ambitions soften with time, so would the experience be the same for you at my age (late 30s?)?

I’m definitely getting the feedback that being involved with the climbing community will help (at least for me but not my wife). That said, I’ve talked with several climber couples who still found it challenging to get to know locals more deeply, especially where there was a language barrier. Some of these folks spoke the language but perhaps didn’t speak it with enough proficiency to encourage easy conversation. I’m less interested in hanging out with ex-pat communities, although this could still have its own benefits.

I have the same thoughts on ideology. I think I’d gain far more satisfaction from helping to affect change, as you say. This is coming from someone who is a master of running from problems!

All in all, you’re probably right. It’s a short window of time in the grand scheme of things. And if my relationships suffer then they probably weren’t as strong as I thought anyway! But that makes me wonder even more if I should stay and work on that skill set first.

I lived abroad for a couple of years in my early 20s. It was a great experience. When you are living every day in a country and making an effort to get out and about, the language learning piece was not a huge concern (in retrospect). It did require significant effort, but I didn’t feel like this was a limiting factor after about 6 months.

I think the community aspect is interesting. I think that in many other cultures, community is higher valued in than in the U.S., and thus there are both more opportunities to engage and people are more open to engaging. Going into the experience with a hobby such as climbing will only aid in this transition (assuming you went somewhere with either a significant gym presence or outdoor climbing opportunities).

As far as maintaining old relationships, I agree this can be complex. Over the last decade, our family has lived in four separate areas throughout the country. In every area, we have met day to day friends, but also a couple of people that I consider to be good, long term friends. If a relationship can’t survive a year of distance, how deep was that bond initially?

My wife and I frequently talk about trying to move abroad, mainly for ideological and safety concerns for our kids. I often wonder what my personal responsibility is to try to affect change locally (which can sometimes seem like an insurmountable obstacle) vs looking for the greener grass abroad.

I know this is a lot of rambling, but my overall perspective is that a year is a short amount of time in the scheme of things and I know my time abroad only enriched my life. I think both finding a new community away and maintaining relationships at home are smaller obstacles in reality than in perception. Curious to hear more of your thoughts.