I’ve been sitting on this concept for a while, but I lacked the inspiration until it hit me like a sack of bricks early last week. I stumbled upon a must-read news article with an unbeatable title: Colorado trail runner attacked by mountain lion choked cat to death with hands, arms and feet. Yes, that is the actual title. Regardless of your religious or agnostic leanings, we have one shot at this life. I know nothing about this man — clearly the stuff of legends — but a peaceful run in the mountains very nearly came down to his final moments. It begs the question: if your life ended today, would you have any regrets?
Regrets
I’ll repeat it again: if your life ended today, would you have any regrets?
I’ll go first: I would.
In many ways, asking someone if they have any regrets is a dumb question. We’ve all done something we’ve regretted, and we’ll surely have many more doozies in the future. There are endless shallow quotes about living today like it’s your last day. I’m not talking about blowing out of work to go skydiving and then smoke a pack of cigs. I’m actually more in line with this school of thinking:
You know, some people say life is short and you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it’s your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You’re probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you’re gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years. -Chris Rock
So directionally, are we setting ourselves up for our best life, or are we just plodding along?
Safety First
I’m not going to sit here behind my keyboard and pretend that I have things fully sorted. I’m proud of where we are headed, but I have not lived my life to the fullest. I’ve played it safe, always. By almost any standard, I should be beaming with enthusiasm at where I am. I did great in school, landed well-paying jobs, and married a woman who brings out the very best in me.
Let’s be clear: when it comes to Mrs. CC there are zero regrets. My only regret there is that my swollen fingers won’t always allow me to wear my wedding ring with pride.
But at several cross-roads in my past I’ve taken the safe road. Below is a short list of some of my more moderate, internet-worthy regrets:
- I avoided studying abroad because I thought it would delay completion of my undergraduate degree. It wouldn’t have.
- I made plans to take a year off to travel before starting graduate school, but I worried too much about how the time away would affect my admission potential.
- I accepted the first job offered to me, blinded by the good salary. Even worse, I moved to Houston, TX for that job (sorry Houston people).
- I made excuses about living somewhere I despised, too afraid to chase the life I wanted.
But So What?
You might look at the list above and be a bit miffed. For many, these are appropriate sacrifices a young man should make in life. You work hard, you get an education, and you get a good job. Shouldn’t I just be happy with that?
Well, I’m admittedly a “grass is greener on the other side” kind of guy. I don’t like getting accustomed to much of anything, and frankly, I don’t think the old-fashioned system of “work hard and be a good employee” works anymore.
Take a look at the World Happiness Index. Despite a strong economy, abundant wealth, and a democratic society, the U.S. never tops the ranks. In fact, the U.S. ranking has been falling year after year, “in part because of the ongoing epidemics of obesity, substance abuse, and untreated depression,” according to the linked article.
To me, it doesn’t seem like effort in = contentment out. We have so much in this country, so why aren’t we happier? Nordic countries, help us out here!
Obesity, substance abuse and untreated depression surely have roots in unmanaged stress. What’s the leading cause of stress in America today? You guessed it…Money.
All the Ways We Could Go
I’m an obsessive rock climber, and maybe you are too. Everyone thinks climbing is super dangerous and they’re largely wrong. Statistically, we’re far more likely to be killed in an automobile accident driving to the crag. I guess I should tell that to the dude that choked a freaking mountain lion to death.
Life is touch and go. Would it be so crazy if I walked in to work tomorrow and someone shot me in the face? It sounds harsh, but every day lives end abruptly for all kinds of reasons.
I’ve known two former co-workers who died within a year of retirement. They worked hard, saved for retirement, planned a new life, and then died. I’ve seen far too many young people die ahead of their time for a number of unforeseen reasons. There’s no guarantee of a long life.
So I’ve slowly learned that you have to live the life you want now. I’m working hard to find contentment in “now”, but at least we’ve taken action. Awareness, then action. The pieces will fall into place from there.
Righting the Ship
There will always be sacrifices and compromises in life. Despite the millennial manifesto I’ve written above, I realize that there are times I’m going to have to buckle down against my will to secure a better future. Hell, I’m doing that now. I’m breaking my own rules! I’m still at a job that does not bring me fulfillment, but I’m doing it to get us over the finish line of the somewhat arbitrarily defined “financial independence“. Perhaps I’m still playing it safe after all.
We’re also not “anti-work.” I’ll always do something that constitutes work, but the relationship many Americans have with their jobs these days is abusive, to say the least. “But I love my company”, they’ll say. “They don’t mean harm when they make me check my email on vacation.” Or my personal favorite: “We’re a family at my company.” Maybe, but probably not. I’d rather take the power back.
Financial independence doesn’t have to be the solution — it’s not for everyone. But death often brings our own life into sharp focus. Are we living our best life, or are we hardly living at all? Put all your efforts into building a life around what brings you joy and contentment. We could all use an occasional check on our priorities.
So should I ever turn around and find myself face-to-face with the proverbial mountain lion, I hope it won’t be such a sad story if I lose that battle.
In fact, I welcome the chance to put an attacking wild animal in a choke hold — that guy is never paying for another drink in his life! Cheers to a well-oiled sympathetic nervous system, good sir.