A Therapist on Satisfaction in Sport, Life, and Love

If you haven’t noticed, the concept of achievement and even competitiveness has weighed heavily on my mind as of late. A gift of the nontraditional life is the opportunity to step back and see the world around us with a degree of unusual clarity, far from the treadmill. For years I valued athletic and professional progress in ways that weren’t making my life better, but I thought they were. I searched for and implemented solutions to the wrong problems. Meanwhile, what truly mattered—mainly my relationships—withered on the vine. The journey toward rectifying these tendencies continues today.

My guest today, Lincoln Stoller, is a former mountaineer who now specializes in psycho-, hypno-, and neurofeedback therapy, in tandem with numerous other counseling and coaching services. Lincoln holds a PhD in Theoretical and Mathematical Physics from UT Austin, including a post-doc assignment at UC Berkley. Lincoln eventually moved from quantum physics to create a management and automation software platform for businesses, learned to build Norwegian log homes, traveled and lived abroad in far-flung foreign lands, and is even a certified pilot. To say Lincoln lives well outside of the bounds of normalcy is probably a half-truth at best. As he says in the interview, we should “just keep doing out-of-the-box stuff. And if people aren’t calling you a little crazy or a little nutty, then you probably aren’t exploring enough of the boundaries.”

Today’s conversation revolves around the high-risk potential of hard-charging performers and achievers, whether they exist in sports, business, or other areas of life. While these individuals hold our collective attention and admiration, Lincoln outlines how their psychological roots run shallow. They often struggle to stay satisfied with themselves or those around them. Lincoln might even say he holds an anti-hard-man philosophy. I think you’ll see why.

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QA12: Will A Life Of Financial Independence Meet Expectations?

We’re back to the digital mailbag to answer your questions!

For this week:

  • An update on markets and our personal finance situation
  • The role of dividends in growth and withdrawal assumptions
  • Expectations vs reality on a life of financial independence
  • Our experience with health insurance without employer-sponsored plans
  • Real estate investing: an update on our experiences and economics as remote landlords
  • Health insurance considerations for long-term travel
  • Short- to medium-term savings goals (like a house) versus saving for retirement
  • Loss of purpose without a traditional job
  • So much more!
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“The Rewards of Being in One Place for a While” (Meghan Walker and Callan Cooper)

By popular demand, I’ve decided to extend a travel series centered around the topic of building community or maintaining our need for social interactions when away from home. Community building is especially complicated when abroad, where cultures and languages vary considerably from our own. My guests today, veteran travelers with considerable expat experiences, are perfectly suited to discuss this topic.

Meghan Walker, a previous guest who writes at awaytofi.com, spent many of her formative years living abroad in Kenya and New Zealand. Her husband, Callan Cooper, is an expat living in the United States from New Zealand, where they met. Meghan and Callan joined me in my home in Colorado for a rare in-person interview, where we discussed in detail the beauty and challenges of international extended travel, careers, evolving travel philosophies, and financial tactics that can have you living a similar life much sooner than you think.

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Tyler Karow: The Tiny Future of Affordable Housing

I’m a little unsure of the best way to frame this introduction. In some ways, this is a story of embracing climbing for all the right reasons. Pursuit of technical mastery and love for the outdoors over the gamification of grades and emphasis on physical training. On the other hand, this is also the story of early adulthood in the modern era. The narrative to pursue something like climbing full-time is strong in the outdoor world. But most I encounter eventually find that climbing alone leaves us yearning for meaning and purpose. My guest today, Tyler Karow, spent nearly three years on the road pursuing climbing. Today he balances considerable climbing achievements with a secondary passion for building and a desire to be a part of the solution to America’s affordable housing crisis.

Karow is a 29-year-old climber known for his big wall accomplishments in Yosemite, Patagonia, and around the globe. His resume includes a ground-up free ascent of Golden Gate (5.13a) on El Cap, and Yosemite’s Triple Crown in under 24 hours, only the eighth time this feat has been achieved. Notably, Karow climbed the Triple while working a full-time (plus) job. He holds a B.S. in Civil Engineering from the University of Southern California and is a licensed civil engineer and general contractor. With this background in engineering and construction, he envisions a career helping to build prefabricated tiny home communities. This emerging approach to construction helps to reduce the cost of new housing and more efficiently add supply to a stressed housing market.

This episode is an Oreo of sorts, with a focused discussion of Tyler’s climbing achievements and work/life balance in the beginning and end. The middle of this discussion takes a deep dive into the affordable housing crisis, the complex nature of new construction, and Tyler’s vision for the future of American affordable housing.

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The Social Dilemma of Extended Travel (Jeff, A Way to FI)

In October I published a mini episode on my thought processes on the pros and cons of extended travel abroad. Many of you left comments or emailed me your thoughts, and I’m so thankful for your input. You’ve all given me plenty to consider. One of the most insightful emails came from Jeff of awaytofi.com, a previous guest on this podcast (Episode 44). Jeff has been living abroad for over fifteen months with his wife, Rose, and as such is well-versed in discussing the impacts of extended travel, particularly on our social lives. This week’s episode is an in-depth exploration of extended travel, especially as it relates to our human need for a sense of place and community. Travel takes us away from our tribe, so how do we create new ones? Do we even need to? You can probably expect more content like this with upcoming guests and articles.

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Mini Episode: Is the Best Life Lived at Home?

Years ago, we decided to one day try living abroad for at least a year. We always loved traveling and also always felt that we never had enough time to truly experience a place beyond the superficial. I wanted to stay for a while, learn the language, and slowly morph into a new life mode. But now I’m starting to question the wisdom of this decision. Is living abroad a bad idea?

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The Problem with Bucket Lists and How to Be Happy with Less

It’s often said that happiness equals what you have minus (or sometimes divided by) what you want. When our wants are many, what we have is of little consequence. That is why there are hordes of unhappy millionaires and high achievers who quietly suffer (yes, suffer) under the weight of lofty and insatiable desires and ambitions. Western ideals place great importance on the “haves.” And despite an anecdotal feeling that my greater social circle is less materialistic, I’m less certain that we’ve diminished our appetite for having things. The things look and feel different. Less like fancy watches or cars or gaudy showings of riches and more like spreadsheets full of countries and crags unvisited, food not tasted, status not yet achieved, or routes not sent. We believe subconsciously or otherwise that by checking items off our bucket list we will arrive at some sense of blissful satisfaction. But biology and evolution suggest otherwise.

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Dr. Jim Dahle of the White Coat Investor on Building the Ideal Life

Jim Dahle is the founder of the White Coat Investor, a widely consumed personal finance and investing blog and podcast specifically designed for physicians and other high-income careers. What Jim created in 2011 as a simple blog has grown into a multi-media empire that now employs fifteen people and hosts content from a range of columnists.

Jim has cut back from his full-time (plus) emergency physician career and White Coat Investor responsibilities to focus on what makes life worth living, and that’s where I wanted to pick up this conversation. Jim is a climber, husband, and father of four. Today we discuss how he’s managed to step away, at least slightly, from his hard-charging career and blogging days to what he’s now describing as his ideal life.

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Jeff and Priti Wright: You Might Need a Sabbatical

Today on episode 64 I’m excited to welcome Priti and Jeff Wright, two accomplished young professional alpinists from Seattle, WA. In 2020, Priti, a software developer, and Jeff, a mechanical engineer at Boeing, embarked on a year-long sabbatical to travel across the globe and climb alpine objectives in Patagonia, France, and Pakistan, finishing by the beach in Hawaii.

The trip was wildly successful, even amid the raging pandemic, including ascents of the Cerro Torre, the six classic North Faces of the Alps in a single season (including the Eiger North Face in winter), culminating in the first ascent of K6 Central and the third ascent of K6 West—both 7000+-meter peaks—in the Karakoram Range of Pakistan.

In contrast to early retirement, Priti and Jeff make the compelling case for a traditional career peppered with sabbaticals. This episode is filled with lifestyle and career philosophy, planning concepts, detailed financial considerations, and just a damn good time. And they are even planning their next sabbatical in 2024, which will look drastically different than their trip in 2020. You won’t want to miss this one.

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