Holier Than Thou: Why It’s Hard to Talk About Money

Discussing finances in America is about as appealing as using a rotary tool to cut your over-thickened and rotted toenails. I’ve never done that and my toenails are blue ribbon winners, but it sounds unappealing.

We’ve struggled over the past few years with sharing this major shift in our lives and what it means for our futures. One of the primary reasons for starting this site was to provide a platform to more deeply explain our philosophy and financial strategy, because frankly nobody wants to talk about money. 

Everyone at some point must earn income, either by hustling crack on the corner or hustling the corporate ladder (there is no middle ground), but nothing will empty a room faster than trying to discuss money. Consciously or not, so many of us structure our lives around money, but why does it seem that only the tactless D-Bags of the world want to talk about it and usually in the context of how they’re spending (all of) it.

The New Message

When the CC Family first discovered the FIRE community, we were blown away. As we’ve said here, we were naturally decent savers, never with a plan for our money, but certain we didn’t want to work our current jobs until traditional retirement age. When we discovered the many voices pointing us towards financial independence, with clear methods and ease of implementation, the first reaction was to shout it from the rooftops:

MY GOD! HEY GUYYYSSS!! LET’S ALL RETIRE EARLY AND HANG OUT!

“50% savings! 4% Rule! My God man, the travel rewards are coming!!” -Paul Revere (photo credit: Superstock)

I started telling almost anyone that would listen, even some trusted co-workers. “Dude, we can just save money and hang out at my house and drink cheap beers and cook our own food and invest the savings and compound interest and withdrawal strategies”. Sadly, I found my excitement to fall on deaf ears. 

The Reaction

To tell someone that you are going to potentially have enough money to “retire” in your 30’s treads a very thin line. I speculate that the first impression upon hearing such a claim is disbelief.

“Good luck buddy. Enjoy eating cat food.”

“We really should have stuck to the 3.5% Rule.” (Credit: Paul S. Taylor)

The second impression is probably to take offense. This is where The CC’s have likely failed in the past. We thought that if we told everyone about our rapid rate of savings and timeframe to financial independence, all would surely follow us like the Pied Piper and be inspired to start the journey themselves.

The problem with this approach, as pointed out to me recently, is that you are metaphorically walking in to someone’s house and giving advice that wasn’t requested. People have lived in traditional terms – making money, spending money – for decades. To question the sacred cow and to subtly suggest that what others are doing is flawed is surely not the way to change anyone’s mindset and at worst makes you look like pompous ass. Ouch.

The Optimizer’s Folly

Want to know where we’ve screwed up or were late to the game on this journey? Here are just a few ways we were not optimized on the Pillars of Financial Independence:

  • In 2015 we spent $5,030 dining out, at $420/month. That same year our average grocery bill was $760/month. Whoa, we put over $10,000 worth of food in our bellies!
  • In 2012 we bought a brand-new Subaru. We lost thousands of dollars the second we drove off that lot. We are very happy with the car, but could we have saved much more money?
  • For years, without even thinking about it, we paid nearly $200/month on cell phone bills for unlimited everything. We now pay $70/month and could do even better if we let go of our iPhone dependence.
  • I just maxed out my 401k for the first time in 2017. I’ve had a 401k for almost a decade.
  • I just opened an HSA at the end of 2017. Mrs. CC still doesn’t have one. More on these here, but they are essentially a hedge against future medical spending and an investment vehicle.
  • I live three miles from work and still drive at least three times a week. (Excuse Alert) I could bike or take the bus every day, but I value my windows for climbing and want to get straight to the gym or outside when I have the chance.
  • We talk big game these days about saving money on food, but routinely miss our budget of about $370 on grocery spending per month (the classic $2/meal/person model we aspire to). To date, we’ve hit this number exactly once. (Excuse Alert) We’re happy, as we’ve still drastically reduced our spending here and still enjoy a few luxuries.
  • I largely despise do-it-yourself jobs around the house and often pay contractors to do it for me. (Excuse Alert) I suspect that will change in the future as I have more time, but for now I don’t.

Pointing the finger further back at us, at the time of writing, we do not share our exact financial statements, and speak in the tongue of percentages and graphs without proper labels. You may search far and wide, but you won’t find our income, net worth, FI target, or any absolutes on this website. Our reasons for this are somewhat security related, but also relate to the fact that we want our readers to follow the philosophy and methods that can be applied to their own lives, and not get tied up in our exact numbers. Either way, talking about money is simply not easy in our society.

From the Inside Looking Out

When we started implementing many of the structural changes of the FIRE community in our lives – high rates of savings, going all-in on index fund investing (we were already investing in index funds, but to a much lower degree), maxing out tax-deferred buckets such as 401k and HSA accounts, spending everything on travel rewards credit cards, exploring tax-reducing strategies – we quickly looked back out at the world of people not so different than we once were and saw the “errors” of our past.

Who are we to judge what people do with their money? It’s not wrong for us to provide information and spread a message, but people will make changes in their lives when they are ready.

Today you might love your job and find it easy to balk at the idea of early retirement, or might not find it necessary to “deprive yourself” of all the ways money is spent in your life. But tomorrow is always a new day.

Political and industrial landscapes are always shifting, the best boss you ever had may move on and be replaced by the worst boss you ever had, you could be reassigned, a new coworker could show up and undermine you at your every step. As we’ve seen many times in our short careers in the oil and gas industry, layoffs destroy those living the high life on big incomes, but dancing far too close to insolvency on any given day.

Have you considered Plan B? No, not that one. (Credit: iStockphoto)

The examples above encompass many of the reasons we’ve been drawn to restructure our lives, but everyone’s experience is unique. Our job is not to tell you that what you are doing is wrong — because it isn’t — but to offer a message, a different perspective, and a resource, should you find tomorrow different than today.


You, the beloved reader are a precious commodity to us. We want to set the tone early to both engage, challenge, and support. How are we doing? Please feel free to comment or drop us a line on the Contact Page. We’d love to hear from you!

What say you friend?