Do you ever pass on requesting vacation because you fear your work ethic will be called into question?
Do you avoid international travel because everything seems so different?
Are you convinced that crime is getting worse, so you should take more drastic measures to protect yourself and your family? Crime has in fact fallen sharply.
Above are just a few examples of how fear dictates our actions and inactions on a daily basis. Frankly, every week I fear that you, dear reader, won’t like what I write here. Boy, I sure hope you do. But are we letting our lives pass us by because we fear the unknown?
Fear is Normal, To a Point
Fear, much like conformity, is one of those sticky topics where we are all a little guilty. No one lives in absence of conformity, and certainly no one lives in absence of fear. As I’m sure you are aware, fear is a very healthy natural instinct that keeps us from doing really dumb stuff, like cannon-balling in an Australian lake when you see those…eyes.
I’m not really here to discuss the natural fear response, fight or flight, etc. I want to talk about irrational emotions, those that keep us grounded to a “safe” existence and keep us from being reasonably cool people with really exceptional lives.
What’s the Perception of a New Situation?
When faced with a new situation, our default is to quickly imagine all that can go wrong. For instance, as a climber I’m very hesitant to get on a hard route that is new for me at a busy crag. It’s completely normal and acceptable in modern climbing for a properly hard project to shut you down at first.
But damn, I really struggle to let that process play out in front of a group of strangers, especially when they have well-developed lats, a forward posture, and stick clips. My ego can’t stand it, and I’m afraid of looking like I’m in over my head.
If I’m being honest, I struggle to have no control over a situation and be in a position of complete vulnerability. In contrast, if I’ve already put some work into a route and feel that success is in sight, I can gain confidence from the presence and encouragement of others.
But the key is to face those fears, and face them often. Sure Mr. CC, I’ll get right on over and snuggle up with my subconscious and deeply-held fears, no problem. Yeeahh….
Let’s continue.
Finances
Let’s take a look at finances, the other topic near and dear to my online heart. When it comes to saving, people can generally understand the value in that concept. Most folks are terrible at actually taking action on saving, but it seems that most would agree that saving money is generally a good thing.
Investing is a whole other can of worms, as they say. The stock market has a reputation for instability and destroying fortunes. Hell, we lose money in the stock market all the time!
But by educating ourselves on simple concepts of passive index investing, we felt more comfortable — but still very leery — to jump in. Becoming more informed gave us the confidence to know we could be successful, despite all the chatter of “stock market is bad.” If we started investing, we could use money as a vehicle to live a really cool life.
Golly, I’m glad we did.
VTSAX Example
Take a few minutes to soak on the graph below, which is the long-term market performance of Vanguard’s Total Stock Market Index Fund (VTSAX), since the year 2000. We invest over 90% of our money here, so it’s reasonably important to understand the past performance of this fund.
The first and obvious conclusion you should make is that if you bought a hypothetical single share of VTSAX in 2000 for about $30, you have more than doubled your money by doing absolutely nothing (shares are selling for ~$75 as of early August 2019). Neat!
Hindsight is 20/20
…Whatever that phrase means. Look at the portion of the chart from 2000-2003. Shares slowly dwindled from $30 to $20 over this time period, a 33% reduction in value. Oh man! You are losing a third of your initial investment — that’s scary dude!
For three years you watched your money slip away. Would you have hung in there? Would you sell and get your money out of this godforsaken market? Cash out and be another voice proclaiming the disastrous pitfalls of the stock market?
You can see how the negative perception gets propagated.
BUT…you’ve been told that investing is a long-term proposition and you are so strong, so you hang in there. Everything starts looking good, and by 2008 you’ve made about a 30% return on your initial investment. Boom! Pound my fist!
Then the Great Recession hits. By 2009 the value of VTSAX is below $20/share. After nine years at this game, you have once again lost a third of your initial investment! This is terrible! Why would anyone do this to themselves????
2009 to Today
But my dear, look at the market performance from 2009 to today. This is the bitchin’ wave the CC Family has been riding for years, the wave that has made us — in combination with intentional living and mindful savings — wealthy. I’m not talking about three-car-garage-mansion-with-a-pool-making-it-rain-dollar-bills-rich. I’m talking about providing for a modest existence with optional and purpose-driven work…forever. Neat!
Being wealthy is cool, trying to be rich is dumb.
But fear is inevitable. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t watching closely at the end of 2018 when the market was in free-fall. And I’d be definitely lying if I told you it’s a smooth ride upwards from here. This is the longest bull market in history — shouldn’t it come to an end soon? Maybe, maybe not.
But past performance has informed us to not fear the future. Or at least not act on irrational fears, which leads me to my next point.
Let’s Examine Our Fears!
So pulling this all back together, how can we rationalize what gives us pause in life?
I put a few examples in here, so let’s address at least one of them in more detail.
Fear of Asking for Vacation
Regarding vacation, perhaps you know that you work for a company where there is a culture of loyalty and extended working hours. In this environment, it can be exceptionally hard to be the one standing out and taking time off, when all your coworkers grind on in your absence. I work in one of those companies now.
Leaving vacation on the table is a favorite American pastime, and as a matter of fact, only 28% of us plan to max out our vacation time this year. What??!! Are we not working in the first place to provide for a better life for ourselves and our families?
Others might have the same fear and simply be looking for someone to take the lead in asking for time off. So my suggestion is simple: ask.
It’s so Worth It
In June 2018, I took two weeks to go to Germany (not my only vacation that year). That was the first time I’d seen anyone leave for two consecutive weeks at my job. A wonderful deal popped up for us to go to Mallorca in January of 2019, and I found myself sheepishly asking for another consecutive 2.5 weeks of vacation within months of returning from the first trip!
I feared the worst, and prepared for my response if my boss said no (tickets were already purchased). He excitedly wished me well and approved the time off. It was 110% worth it, have a look at those photos below!
Mallorca January 2019 trip report and costs here.
Now, does that mean I’m not judged by my other less-relaxed and ground-down coworkers? I probably am, but isn’t that the beauty of F-You money?
In the end, the fear was irrational. Would they really fire me for asking for vacation time that the company provides? Of course not, so no further consideration is needed.
Summary
Oh, there’s so much more I want to say to you, but how quickly I’ve reached too many words! Google says you don’t like too many words, so I want to honor your attention span.
So, how do we live our best life and work around our fears? I like to think in terms of odds and statistics. What are the chances of realizing the worst outcome that we fear?
Do you curl into a fetal position at the sound of thunder but happily get behind the wheel of your car? According to the National Geographic, there is a 1 in 3,000 chance of being struck by lighting over your lifetime.
Interestingly, Cars.com compiled some fascinating statistics summarized below. Lightning is scary, but there is a 1 in 77 chance you’ll be killed in your car in the US over the same time period. Is there still any hesitation to get behind the wheel? Oh, and even better, there’s a 25% chance you and I will be killed by heart disease. But sure, pass the cake, right? No fear there.
So don’t sit at home afraid of the world around you. Take time to inform and educate yourself. Is there real, unequivocally factual risk? If so, tread cautiously or move on; live to fight another day.
If the fear is irrational, move forward with great intention and never look back.
Go live your best life now, and remember to buckle up and watch out for those banana peels on the floor.
Remember, the best laid plans mean nothing if you can’t take action today. Have questions? Need some feedback? Hit us up on the Contact page.
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